Wednesday, December 21, 2011

PHANTOM LOVE OF A HOPELESS LOVER



What had triggered my emotions was a dream.....
you had visited me once again.
Because we had met there... so many times....
When the moon was at its brightest......and had lit our world.....
where we had sat together hand in hand.....by the side of a placid lake.....
oblivious of everything.....except for the presence of each other....
staring as far as the eyes permitted..
..travelling....those ripples of sheen on the currents......
like always i was too afraid to look at you...lest you would vanish..
and like a miserable sea creature...
I would go deep ....as deep as one could  fathom.....
into the darkness of the other world.....

AND THEN.......
You were gone..far very far away....
but you left behind your love and your promise....
to return..and...to reunite....
we did’nt need words to give comfort to each other....
coz i had taught you the language of silence...
silence that has more eloquence than speech.....
that is  soothing and blissful to the heart...
becoz what had transpired between us was unadulterated and honest....
because I had accepted u with all your imperfections..and you with all of mine..
to the world you were just another thing...impure and unchaste...
but to me you were ...a hope and a belief...
that I wore on my bosom as a prized ornament...


And so the days passed...
and the yellow leaves of autumn wore its green cloth...
and the frozen mountains wept a silent dirge....
meanwhile i realized that between memory and oblivion
what stood as a bridge was time...
and so the course of nature continued...
and so did my morose life...
my days, they passed amidst the humdrum of everyday life...
but my nights,they were like the never ending roads...
the ones we had walked together....
where our laughter chimed and mingled with the noise of the cricket....
where we fought..and we cried....
and you talking endlessly..and me never losing patience...
except for now and then.
when  I  wanted to scream ’shut up now’  at the top of my voice.....


When we had lived in the same world..
and in the same time frame...
we had met everyday...
defying the mammoth of a distance between us...
but  what to do now...
i had sensed this was going to come sooner or later...
the day you had revealed to me the news.....
that you would be living in some other world....
leaving  behind  me  and your memories....


Do u remember how you had left me...
in the midst of the ocean on a starry night...
I had closed my eyes ....
coz i knew when I would open them...
I would see you by my side...
but this was not to happen....
fears kept gnawing at my heart....
ill prognostications kept nudging at my mind....
and I cried..and cried..and cried..
until there was none left...
with  eyes dried..of hope and longing....
I waded myself through an ocean of tears...
at daybreak i reached land..
I looked at the shinig  gold in the sky...
a reminder of a new hope..and a new beginning...
except for the dull ache that weighed me down...
coz the silent universe was my witness...
.....it reminded me of the man I had loved......

HOPING AGAINST HOPE......


With  spirits  wilted  like  a  drooping flower
She  wakes  everyday  with a hope in her heart
Today again HE  will  keep her alive
For her three children  the light of her life

To fulfill  her  needs she works all day
As a domestic help ...
where  she is shunned and reprimanded
For being late..

The  maalkin  says
“the  dish’s not clean the cup have stains”
She bears insults
As her heart heaves in pain

Daybreak comes...
with the end of her sari’s pallu she wipes her sweat
and  placing the leftovers in her matteted tiffin...
she heads for home with a sunken spirit..

sundown she reaches home...
three  innocent faces luk at her with alacrity
they are too happy..
their bread earner  has  come  back  home

the  briefness of the happy minutes is interrupted..
for here cometh  the  evil  brothers
the deathly silence is  broken..
as they  hurl  abuses in unision

you  bitch..u cunt...
get out of our  house
u motherf@#$!^&  harlot..
you burden on this earth
get out of my house

in  a   corner of  this  shack
an ailing  haggard woman  lies on a cot
her heart  is rent as she sees her child die
a lifeless figure..she  shouts  a meek protest...
the syllables  are sucked  in that crash lyk  noise

..they  have   hit  her with fists on her stomach
As  one of them  gags  her  mouth...
the  other  stamps on  her
Her  unkempt  knot  of  hair..breaking
 her  only  hairclip in  the  process

malice..hatred..greed
makes  blood  thinner  than water
lyk  they  hacked  her  husband to death...
these  murderers  were  very close
 to  wiping  out their  own blood..
in  cold   blood


the  mother  of  three
 lies  on  earth...
conscious  enough  to  welcum  death
just  lyk  her  meaningless  lyf...

meaningless  tears  rolls    down
  from  the  corner  of  her  eyes..
yet  ..a  faint  hope  she  nurses
today  again  HE  will keep her  alive..
for her three children the light of her life....