BeInG SanE

A dream it has been ,her life

Careless and carefree like the wind,

Walking on the rainbow without falling

A world within a world

Overlapping, with nebulous truths,

Plaguing now and then

What would it be to come out of one’s dream world?

What is to become of her...

Only time will tell

Buy her some sanity

Sublime she is from within

Her mind’s a garagantula of a maze

She’s sick,she’s insane

Let the shit come out of her mind

Make her sane ,before she wanes

Give back her world..let her live...do  not intrude

Mental freedom is all she wants

PHANTOM LOVE OF A HOPELESS LOVER

What had triggered my emotions was a dream.....

you had visited me once again.

Because we had met there... so many times....

When the moon was at its brightest......and had lit our world.....

where we had sat together hand in hand.....by the side of a placid lake.....

oblivious of everything.....except for the presence of each other....

staring as far as the eyes permitted..

..travelling....those ripples of sheen on the currents......

like always i was too afraid to look at you...lest you would vanish..

and like a miserable sea creature...

I would go deep ....as deep as one could  fathom.....

into the darkness of the other world.....

AND THEN.......

You were gone..far very far away....

but you left behind your love and your promise....

to return..and...to reunite....

we did’nt need words to give comfort to each other....

coz i had taught you the language of silence...

silence that has more eloquence than speech.....

that is  soothing and blissful to the heart...

becoz what had transpired between us was unadulterated and honest....

because I had accepted u with all your imperfections..and you with all of mine..

to the world you were just another thing...impure and unchaste...

but to me you were ...a hope and a belief...

that I wore on my bosom as a prized ornament...

And so the days passed...

and the yellow leaves of autumn wore its green cloth...

and the frozen mountains wept a silent dirge....

meanwhile i realized that between memory and oblivion

what stood as a bridge was time...

and so the course of nature continued...

and so did my morose life...

my days, they passed amidst the humdrum of everyday life...

but my nights,they were like the never ending roads...

the ones we had walked together....

where our laughter chimed and mingled with the noise of the cricket....

where we fought..and we cried....

and you talking endlessly..and me never losing patience...

except for now and then.

when  I  wanted to scream ’shut up now’  at the top of my voice.....

When we had lived in the same world..

and in the same time frame...

we had met everyday...

defying the mammoth of a distance between us...

but  what to do now...

i had sensed this was going to come sooner or later...

the day you had revealed to me the news.....

that you would be living in some other world....

leaving  behind  me  and your memories....

Do u remember how you had left me...

in the midst of the ocean on a starry night...

I had closed my eyes ....

coz i knew when I would open them...

I would see you by my side...

but this was not to happen....

fears kept gnawing at my heart....

ill prognostications kept nudging at my mind....

and I cried..and cried..and cried..

until there was none left...

with  eyes dried..of hope and longing....

I waded myself through an ocean of tears...

at daybreak i reached land..

I looked at the shinig  gold in the sky...

a reminder of a new hope..and a new beginning...

except for the dull ache that weighed me down...

coz the silent universe was my witness...

.....it reminded me of the man I had loved......

HOPING AGAINST HOPE......

With  spirits  wilted  like  a  drooping flower

She  wakes  everyday  with a hope in her heart

Today again HE  will  keep her alive

For her three children  the light of her life

To fulfill  her  needs she works all day

As a domestic help ...

where  she is shunned and reprimanded

For being late..

The  maalkin  says

“the  dish’s not clean the cup have stains”

She bears insults

As her heart heaves in pain

Daybreak comes...

with the end of her sari’s pallu she wipes her sweat

and  placing the leftovers in her matteted tiffin...

she heads for home with a sunken spirit..

sundown she reaches home...

three  innocent faces luk at her with alacrity

they are too happy..

their bread earner  has  come  back  home

the  briefness of the happy minutes is interrupted..

for here cometh  the  evil  brothers

the deathly silence is  broken..

as they  hurl  abuses in unision

you  bitch..u cunt...

get out of our  house

u motherf@#$!^&  harlot..

you burden on this earth

get out of my house

in  a   corner of  this  shack

an ailing  haggard woman  lies on a cot

her heart  is rent as she sees her child die

a lifeless figure..she  shouts  a meek protest...

the syllables  are sucked  in that crash lyk  noise

..they  have   hit  her with fists on her stomach

As  one of them  gags  her  mouth...

the  other  stamps on  her

Her  unkempt  knot  of  hair..breaking

 her  only  hairclip in  the  process

malice..hatred..greed

makes  blood  thinner  than water

lyk  they  hacked  her  husband to death...

these  murderers  were  very close

 to  wiping  out their  own blood..

in  cold   blood

the  mother  of  three

 lies  on  earth...

conscious  enough  to  welcum  death

just  lyk  her  meaningless  lyf...

meaningless  tears  rolls    down

  from  the  corner  of  her  eyes..

yet  ..a  faint  hope  she  nurses

today  again  HE  will keep her  alive..

for her three children the light of her life....

I AM WHAT YOU WANT TO BE

I  am  the  soul  that  roams
The  corners  of  the  earth
And  I  come  to  life
Since  every  man’s  birth
I   am   the  poet
I   am  the  mystic
 I  am  the  believer
I  am   the  heretic
I  am  the  loner
I  am the  lover
I  am  the  anger
I  am  the  hunger
I  am  the  angel
I  am  the  beast
I  am  the  psychic
I  am  the  geek
I  am  the  sinner
I  am  the  saint
I  am  what
You  want  to  be
I  am  the  mirror
That u  look  in
I  am  the  ever wandering  soul
The  image  that  u  think
Always  lurking  somewhere  within


O’  You  human  soul of  the  world
You  lend  your  hand
I  lead  you  in.

And yet......

And  yet  again I wait…stealthily…

For it to come……….

My prey deludes me

I suffer in my mind..

Like the receeding edges of a mirage

It keeps evading……

I sigh!  Fumble  gasp! in exasperation

Only to sink in the void………..

TIME........

Since  time  immemorial  it  is  time  alone  that  makes  the   past , and  it  is  time  alone  the  makes  the  present  and  the  future. Love  heals  all  and  so  does  time. Time  is  the  balm  that   heals  all  the  pain  and  the  suffering  that  this  life  has  in  store  for  us. It  is  time that is our  biggest  foe  and  friend .Time  has  been  a  tyrant to  lovers  who  wish  that  only  if  their sweet  meetings  could  be  frozen  in  time, in  absolute  timelessness  , and  to students who  miss the  easiest  questions  in  the   exam  due  to  lack  of  time, and  to an  athlete  who  misses  the  race  by  a  few  nano seconds  and  to  one  and  all  who  walk  the  journey  of    life  living  and  dying  in  time. There  is  no  denying  the  fact  that since  the  birth  of  civilization  mankind  has  been  and  mankind  will be  at  time’s  mercy  till  eternity. legions  and   legions  of  proverbs  and  pithy  statements  have  been  written  on  time  and  all  of  them  has  a  ring  of  universal  appeal in  them. Even   the   greatest  poets  from  Shakespeare  to  Marvell  have  devoted  their  poems  to  this  four  lettered  word.

But  imagine  a  world  where  there  was  no  time.The  idea  is  of  course is  a fancy  one but  then  I  don’t  need  time’s  permission  slip  to  ride  high  on  my  imagination.So,  supposing  that  there was   no  time,,which  would  still  mean that  there would  be  absolute  time, then   it  would  be  a  time  when  the  civilization  would  perish  in  timelessness.

Since  the  day  I  learnt  the  lore  on  the  ‘drama  of  the  absurd ‘ I  have  become  an  active  believer  in  this  school  of  thought.The  quintessence  of   this  school of  thought  is  that we  are ‘ living  in a  meaningless  world where the existence of human beings is absurd and futile’. So  since  the  time  a child  is  born  ,from  that  very  time  onwards  ,every  single  second  he  is  moving  towards  his  death .But  suppose  there  was  no  death  and there  was a  thing  called  immortality (which  woudn’t  be  a mythological  concept  ) then  we  would  definitely  achieve  timelessness .But  Alas!  Time  as  we  all of  us  know  is  a concept  that  can  never  be  ignored  because  time  is  not  an  abstract concept , it  is  real  because  we  can  see  time  everyday  morn,  noon  and  night , and  therefore  like  one  cannot  defy  the  existence  of  God  similarly  the  concept  of  time  cannot  be  denied  even  if  the  world  was  to  be  annihilated…

 

A THOUGHT FROM MY STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS!!!

And  suddenly  I could  feel his  gaze at  me.

We  were  not  facing  each  other  distanced  only  by   a few  steps…

but  I  could  still feel  his  unflinching  piercing  gaze 

as  if  I had  grown  a pair  of eyes  at  the  back  of  my  head.

I stood  motionless  beaten  and  angry

 at  the  world  and  mostly  at  him..

I  knew  he  was  there..waiting  as  always.

The  piercing  silence  got  unbearable.

.Time  stood  like  an  eternity  between  us.

.All  that  was  heard  was  the  pounding  of  the  hearts 

at  the  two  ends..mine  and  his.

Lava  like  desire

 that  was  rising  from  the  volcanic  emotions  of  the  hearts

  gripped  the  air.

Every  particle  and  every  atom 

bore  witness to  the  love  that  ached  to  retreat.

 A  FRENZY  ROSE

It  was  not  the  feet  that  turned  its  steps  backwards

It  was  not  the  body 

that  rushed  TOWARDS  HIM  TO  CRUSH  THE  SELF  AGAINST  THE  SOUL OF  HIS

 IT  was  a power,  a force that  is  not  guided  by  reason  and  logic

It  was  the  love..

that  fills  ur  heart  with  its warmthness to  such  an  extent

that  ur  nerves  ache  with  its  silken  touch

And  like  a bird  you  rise  in  the  air,

ready  to  transcend  all  boundaries  of  space  and  time

Love’s  excess  fills  u  with  wonder  and  amazement

You  are  no  longer  your  self 

the  body  loses  its  identity  as  the  soul  takes  control

 makes  you  pure  and  chaste  like  a new  born  child

ALL  THAT  YOU  CAN  FEEL  AT  THE  MOMENT  IS  THE  ‘RUSH’  .

And  once  again  we  were  standing  face  to  face…

nothing  cud  separate  us  at  this  moment.....

no  power  in  this  world  cud  come  between  us.

at  least  this  was  the  faith  that  cooconed  us  in  its  halo.

we  knew  we  were  safe

Our  eyes  met..we  saw  our  worlds  in  it..

they  merged  became  one.

He  held my  hands.

hands  that  to  me  seemed  that  of  an  angel  or  a superman.

To  me  He  was  no  longer  a human..

everything  about  him  metamorphosed ..

My  heart  made  ecstatic  leaps  as  he  drew  me  closer..

our  lips  quivered  to  touch…

and  when  the  urge  cud  no  longer  be  subsided  we  gave  in..

CHARMED IN  THE  SPELL OF  LOVE….

We  kissed  the  kiss of  trance.

Exploring  heavenS  in  it’s  wake..